Apologies.

Tick. Tock. Tick. Tock. 

Lis could hear the desultory strokes of the  old clock tick with extreme precision. She listened quietly as to the unison of the two sounds,

Drip. Drop. Drip. Drop. 

It almost felt calming. Her tiny body felt heavy against the icy cold floor. She laid there, embracing the numbing cold that ran through her body. 

“I’m sorry”

It was all she could manage. Tears ran down her ivory skin like heavy crystals damping her face. 

“I’m so so sorry”

She shuddered, and a sharp stroke of pain efflorescented through her body. Her raven locks were damp and sticky, and it gave a beautifully terrible constrast to her  porcelain skin.

She felt a plethora of exquisite pain that got sharper and sharper by the minute, and all she did was grit her teeth while wallowing in a deep sense of self hatred.

“All my fault, it was all my fault”

She tried to steady her breath and failed miserably, as she clutched onto her locks and her desperation to wail her lungs out and plead for mercy grew stronger.

“Poor Sam, look what I did to him. What have I done?!”

Her bundles of memories started to unfold infront of her grey eyes, and she grit her teeth to steady herself as the demons ran free.

It was a beautiful fall day, with the atmosphere scented with the aroma of pine needles and wild flowers. The crimson leaves were layered on the yellow ones, and she had her arms in buried in Sam’s sweatshirt. It was oversized and she hugged on to it, it kept her warm from the chilly weather. She smiled as she took a sip from her warm cup of tea, and looked up at the old clock at was ticking away. It was always right. 

5:55 

It read. Well, Sam would come home soon. She smiled. 

She couldn’t help glancing at the photograph that stood on the mantlepiece, a picture of her and Sam, back in the Summer. There he was with jet black hair and a slender face, with beautiful brown eyes. He was a good looking young man.

Lis just smiled, and pulled her hair to the side. A piercing pain ran through a skull. Ugh. This again. 

“Darn it.”

She sighed. It was time to change the bandages, and she did it swiftly. She was used to it now, and she was a smart girl. She knew how to take care of herself.

She looked at her arm that looked purple. She sighed. 

“Would Sam think I’m ugly? What if I’m not pretty anymore?”

She hesitated and bit her lip as she finished bandaging her arm and started cleaning the wound on her hips. It was healing now, but this looked bloody and gory.

“UGH. I hope he doesn’t think that I’m ugly” 

She grimaced like a child. 

“What am I thinking?! He’s always loved me, even when I had these. Even before”

She smiled. 

Sam was her entire world. She loved messing with his black locks and going on long walks with him. He was always so loving. So protective. Slightly over protective some times. It surprised her why her parents didn’t like him the way she loved him. He was with her when her entire life was in pieces. He always held on to her, he always nursed her, he kissed her goodnight. He wiped her tears and carried her when she was hurt. 

“He’s my angel”

“I would know no life without him. His beautiful eyes, his scent, his entirety is my everything”

He was the perfect guy. Lis smiled again.

“LIS?!”

The sound startled her to her core. Something moved fast, and after two seconds, all she could feel was an excruciating pain running through her right cheek. It felt as if a lightening bolt struck her, her entire face started to throb as she tried to steady herself. 

She couldn’t see or hear for a while, and she could feel someone grab her by her long raven mane. Her bruise on her skull sent shooting pain down her spine and it was torturous. Lis tried to steady herself again as she felt a huge amount of force on her skull, agonizing her little body. She was shoved into the wall and she heard several of her ribs crack with the impact. 

The pain was inexpressible. It was as if a truck hit her hard, and tears ran down her face as she lifted her head weakly to see what was going on.

Her grey eyes widened as she saw the slender figure standing in front of her, looking completely and utterly livid. His eyes were bloodshot and he looked murderous and he was grabbed her by the hair again, and pushed her into the wall. 

“Sa-am? Baby?”

Sam looked as if she was utterly insane.

“You fucking bitch!”

He screamed, throwing her into the shelf that sat at the end of the living room. She felt her shoulder dislocate against the hard wood as her body slumped onto the ground. She feebly raised her head, 

“Baby, are you okay? Did I do something wrong?! I’m sorry, baby, I’m sorry”

She mumbled.

“WRONG?! Who the fuck is Jim, you cunt?! Huh?! Who the fuck is he?!

A mist of confusion ran through her face. With a feeble breath, she mumbled,

“Jim? Baby, I don’t know, I promise.”

“HUH?! Trying you lie to me, huh? WHO THE FUCK IS BENJAMIN?!”

She tried to smile even though her body felt like it was broken into pieces and pieces.

“Baby, it’s my cousin. Benjy. I used to go to church with him, baby.” 

She steadied her breath and tried to stand up as extreme amounts of pain pinned her down. Her body was shaking as she collapsed on to the cold floor again, and Sam was glowering above her as he pressed his heel into her back.

“Fucking liar! Now you all do is make plans with him, talk to Benjy, Benjy this Benjy that! FUCK YOU! You are only supposed to talk to me, you bitch, just me”

Pain ran through her body like a drug and she couldn’t hold her pain as her screams echoed through the hallways. He shifted more weight on to her body and her screams got louder and louder, filling the room with her pathetic screams.

“I’m-m- I’m so so sorry, baby”

She sobbed.

“I’m so sorry. I won’t do it again, I promise”

“THATS WHAT YOU SAID LAST TIME, YOU BITCH”

He pulled her by her hair and dragged her across the floor as Lis started screaming her lungs out.

“No, baby, no, I’m sorry, he wanted my opinions on his wedding, and that’s- I’m just so sorry baby, I promise I won’t do it again, I won’t”

“LIARRR”

He shoved her across the room again. Her bones shattered against the wall, and she crumpled onto the floor again. She eyes darted at his knuckles where he was lightly bruised by dragged her. She crawled to him, and took his hands in her small ones. Movement felt like death, it was almost unbearable but her Sam was hurt. He was hurt, and that hurt her more than anything.

“Baby, I’m so sorry, you’re hurt.”

She kissed his knuckles and held them close to her cheeks as she felt warm crimson paint her porcelain face. 

“I’m so sorry!”

Her entire body started shivering and she felt the pain overwhelm her tiny body. 

“I’m so sorry baby.”

“Get the fuck away from me, you fucken bitch!”

He bellowed as he kicked her frail body hard in the stomach. The impact shoved her into the glass table that was next to the couch in which she slept in everyother time he beat her for doing something stupid. 

She heard him spit at her, and scream some more profanity in her name and walk away. 

She lay there, on the cold floor, crimson blood dripping from her eyes, ears, and from where the glass shards pierced into her body. 

Drip. Drop. Drip. Drop.

She listened to the warm blood leaking from her as red tears ran down her cheek.

“I’m so sorry, baby”

She whispered, as she went cold. 

 

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