“I love you”
She remembers the first time you lied to her face, looking into her eyes. A lie that created this knot in her stomach and made her bright brown eyes fill with hope. A lie that you fed, day by day, with pieces of her heart. A lie that blinded her from the obvious truth, whenever you faulted, lies she made to justify your lies. A burning passion to cover up for you,a lie that ran through her veins, that formed this mist of insanity. Evanescence, she dubbed your misdoings, halcyon, she dubbed your lying soul. A lie that had painted a picture so efflorescented with lies and more lies.
“I do care for you, you know”
“You are my whole world”
Your whole world, a myth of the olden times? A legend of the forgotten ones? Your world that lasted a fleeting micro second for you? But a screaming eternity for her poor, broken soul?!
A mirage, yes, that’s what you were. A mirage of unconditional, uncorrupted love, of potential, of chemistry, of faith. A mirage that turned to dust and cloud as she reached for it, a mirage so vividly woven, thanks to your lies. Your cruel, heartless lies.
Lies that shattered her into a million pieces, into tiny shards that pricked herself. Into insecurities she couldn’t get over, into her deepest, darkest, nightmares that haunted her every night.
Lies that dragged her to hell and held her imprisoned, held her hostage in her own wails of despair and terror, not the terror of losing herself, oh no! But of losing you!
Ridiculous, I know.
You hurt every fibre of her weak, fragile body. You tortured her soul in ways she couldn’t heal from, you plunged her in to the deepest, darkest pits of hell, and here she is, still craving for you. Still blaming herself for not being enough.
How could she ever be enough to someone of no conscience, of no love, of lies. Of filthy, cruel, howling lies, that burnt her alive. That crushed her bones. You’d say, “I love you” to yet, someone else, maybe truth, most probably lies. But could she?
No. She’d tear her soul apart, again and again, she’d go half terribly insane, she’d crave her flesh with your strokes, she’d laugh, a laugh of terror, terror of life without you.
You see, the lies you just mellifluously uttered into her soul, were imprinted in her head, forever burning in her soul. The lies that will never fade away.
The scars you gave her, they would, eventually, with time, heal. Heal and she’ll crawl out of the depths of hell you plunge her to, and try to forgive. Forgive a bastard with terrible, terrible lies. But, never forget.
Forget your beautiful woven web of lies would be impossible for her, for it was her life, it was her soul.